New Rooms Update


No new one this week, or not much of one, but instead I'm opening up a few more rooms of the castle. They aren't all "done" but they're done enough to be opened up I think, and I'll just keep futzing with them over time, as dictated by whim. I guess I'll give a little run down here but if you want to just click away and cruise around yourself that's totally valid. I'm not going to link to the rooms though, you'll just have to find them in the regular way. Well, since this is the email version I should at least provide a link back the castle, so here you go:


The first new zone is the stairs. Is this the first website to scroll on a diagonal??? I think it is but I'm not sure. Initially I wanted to make this out of tables, a rather forlorn style of html:

but I couldn't get the individual table cells sized correctly. I guess that's why they tell you not to use tables.

Then I was going to hang up pictures in the stairwell, of my friends as kids or on Halloween or on Halloween as kids. I always loved that about going to Dan Wars' parents' house, the pictures on the stairwell. But I didn't want anyone to feel left out, so right now the walls are bare, that's TBD. Do you guys ever have a dream about stairs? I do.

Grand Ballroom

If you have a castle you gotta have a grand ballroom, come on. Mine's pretty empty right now but you can still go in there and look around. We're getting ready to show some new work by Tom Bubul, here's a flyer for that:

The show opens in the grand ballroom on April 8th, with a reception down by the pond at 1pm Eastern. But as I said, the room is open now (the show is not yet installed) and you can go in there and look around if you want. It's a nice room even with nothing in it but furniture.

The best part of the grand ballroom right now is the chandelier. While other parts of this website / this castle work on metaphor-- a link to a page is also a door to a room, and so forth-- the chandelier really is photons beaming through rectangular planes of glass. I mean objectively speaking it's both an image of a lighting fixture and an actual source of light. If you're looking at this chandelier in a dark room, it will literally illuminate the area of your computer monitor, your desk, your phone, your face.

Another "maybe first" for the castle is maybe this is the first website to have really high ceilings??? Can anyone fact check this for me? And while you're at it can you check if anyone else ever did "scratch and sniff website"? see: Coat Room, 2020.


There's no way (yet) you can meaningfully piss in the castle, but a bathroom isn't just for peeing and pooping, it's also a place to hide for a few minutes and zone out. So I think in that regard this is one of the better website bathrooms. I know it's not the first, but other website bathrooms seem to prioritize a social or exploration aspect like writing on the walls or chatting with people in adjacent stalls, and that's cool but that's not what I seek in an experience of going to the bathroom. I go there either to use facilities only available there, or to be alone and just zone out for a few minutes. What I mean is this isn't an artwork about bathrooms, it's a bathroom to the best of my ability.


I moved the library to the third floor and hung up an inspirational poster. Everything else about the library is the same, including the ghoulie (Dean) that blows out the candles on the candleabra when you leave. I noticed a problem with Dean (unrelated to the move) where he doesn't distinguish between someone leaving the room and someone simply reading a document, so the candles are getting blown out constantly and you have to keep clicking on them. As a reader, that's a quality I want in a document-- the feeling that I'm no longer in the room, signified only by a disorientation upon my return. But in this instance... it's less than ideal. I haven't figured out how to fix this yet. Quite frankly the library is a bit of a mess but what else is new?


I started putting these little dots around, and if you click on one there's a little note:

Click the note and it goes away. I hope this isn't too intrusive.


I have a lot more to do on these rooms, and more plans for the castle, there's always more plans. Let me know if anything seems broken or too confusing. I haven't tested any of the new stuff on phones or tablets so 100% no idea if that will work at all. Actually I'm sure that a lot of it won't work on a tablet (no hover effects). Apologies to the tablet people.

links / misc

  • OK if you read this all in an email you should really just click through and check it out. Unless you don’t want to right now. Maybe you’re in an email headspace and not a website headspace, I can respect that. Well anyway if this piqued your interest (is it pique or peak? or peek???) I’ll put the link right here: [Fujichia]

  • Here's one of the internet bathrooms I mentioned. I don't want it to seem like I don't like this-- I like it. The other one is an app so I can't link to it and I don't even know what it's called. But the website one is here: [link]

  • Greg (pictured above) has some new postcards out, you can get them and send them to your buds. A postcard is a great amount of info-- if you sit down to write a letter you're just going to get bogged down, but a postcard is like ay, check it out, whats up, hope you're well, sincerely, and then you hit send. [bigcartel]